The first time I laid my eyes on her was when I saw her playing basketball. She was tall and strikingly beautiful with short, spiky dark hair. I was standing there at a corner noticing her play. She was not very good. But she had passion. And fire. Every time someone got in her zone, she clawed them. Literally. She had called the most number of fouls by the end of the game. I smirked as I started the warm-up with my team.
One year later, I was in the same college fest. And there she was again. Playing. Only this time she had improved her skills. She was better. She was fast AND ferocious. Once again, I stood in the corner watching her. And admired. She had long hair now. She looked prettier. The match was nearing its end and it was going to be a close call. She scored the winning basket. I couldn't help but smile as she jumped around the court hugging her teammates. So different from the focused and ruthless player on court. I went back to my team. We had a match to play and I went back to strategies.
Three months later my father shifted to a new city. I went with him. I was a the typical bad-ass and had burnt my fingers badly in the last couple of months in my old city. Dad wanted me to come with him. So I did. I got admitted to the same college as my first cousin. I was putting up with him. He was the perfect guy. Grades. Looks. Manners. Talent. You name it and he had it. But he was a do-gooder. He was boring. I guess, my parents thought some of him would rub off on me.
It was the first party he took me to. And there she was. The same tigress. She was with some friends. I recognized a couple of them from the fest. And the next thing I hear is my cousin introducing me to her as 'his' girlfriend. I was flabbergasted to say the least. I had my mouth nearly open. I took me all my control power to keep my poker face mask. The whole night they sat together. He was the perfect candy boyfriend. Chivalrous. Doting. And she.. Well, she was like fire and ice together, when she was talking about Basketball, she was literally burning. She was so fired up. And the next moment she was talking about the a sexual molestation case in our college and she was ice cold. Calm. Composed. She new what steps she was taking. She knew the consequences. But she didn't give a damn. In her dictionary what was right was right. She was calculating. Cold. She was set on her path.
Yes, I am raving. I had fallen for her. That day in the party. I was in love. Madly. The whole time I kept thinking, she is for me. She has been custom made for me. What was she doing with that loser. From the next day, I went after her. I got into trouble. More trouble. I fought with my cousin who was actually trying to help me. I made passes at her. I tried to get her to cheat on my cousin. I tried to get her drunk. I did everything in my power to get her. She was mine. How could someone else have her??? I was raving mad by the end of the semester. No, I was not constantly running after her. Infact I did a lot of other stuff. I enhanced my reputation as the cold hearted bastard of a guy. I dated hoards of girls. Sometimes I used them. Sometimes I just tried to get the tough to please ones. But eventually I just stripped all of them of their self-dignity and left them mid-way. Somewhere. Oh yeah I was a first rate jackass. I picked up fights. Took on challenges. No, not all of them were bad. Someone challenged me to top the sem-end exams. I did. Someone bet me 1000 bucks that I can't learn to play guitar. I went and won a jamming session in the local pub. Oh yeah. Bring it on. I partied. I got drunk. I got beaten up. I was a mess. Two years went by.
And yet through all this, I kept my eye on her. I was the hottest property in town. Girls were queuing up for me. I was not interested. Just the way she was not interested in me. I kept provoking her. Taunting her. I kept being a dick. and each time. She cut me to size. She slashed me. Words, she used them as weapons. And yet I loved it. I liked the attention. Everytime she would ignore me, I raised my level. I provoked her more. Taunted her more. And then one day I crossed the limit. I humiliated her. Infront of everyone in college. I kissed her.
I plead innocent. She was standing some five feet away in a kurti. A black one. Her hair was tied in a pony. Some strands were being badass and falling on her face. I kept staring at her. The rest of the world had vanished. And then she turned towards me. Her were moist. She was upset about something. And all I could see at that moment was that one drop of tear. She looked so vulnerable. Something snapped inside me and in two strides I was beside her, kissing her. Roughly. Passionately. That one kiss said everything that I had felt for her over the two years. The whole corridor stopped and gaped at us. I didn't give a f***. But she did. Three magical moments, she pulled back and the slap echoed in the silence. My face stung. I didn't apologize. I turned around and walked away.
That night my cousin and I had a fight. I beat him up mercilessly. And then dropped him at the hospital. I was driving at 140 km/s on my way back. I could have easily killed someone that day. I took off to my old town. I drove the whole night. I took a break of a week. And then I came back. I kept my mask. I still pretended to be a bad-ass. But I was tired. Of the charade. Of not feeling human. Of not caring. And that's when the feeling sunk in. She didn't want me. She didn't like me. The pain of rejection. I was bleeding daily. But I kept my mask. I was so lonely. But I kept my mask.
That day had been a particularly tiring one. Our placements had started an I was being the typical me. My cousin was the head of the placement cell and I was a member. How? I was a bad-ass. But I was competent. And I was a charmer. I had my way. So, as usual I was bored and had created trouble for him. We had had a row. I was sitting in the library. In a corner. Alone. Out of sight. Library and my image don't exactly go together! And she came. She came and stood infront of me. She looked pale, disturbed. Worried. My heart was in my mouth but my face had the mask. I don't care, said the mask. She asked me, " Can I sit? " I nodded and made a caustic remark. Typical me. She ignored the remark. She looked at the book in my hand, " Wuthering Heights" ? I shrugged. You don't know me. She stared at me. I was getting fidgety. I wanted this thing over. "I want a favour." she said. "And what makes you believe that I would grant a favour to you? " I had the smirk on my face. Voice dripping with condescension . Mean look on my face. Perfect me!
"Because. you love me."
She said that with simplicity and honesty as if she was reciting an universal truth. And it blew the wind out of my stomach. That one sentence. Because it was true.
I nodded my head. I didn't trust myself to speak.
"I love Pranav. Please leave me alone. Please. I am very serious about him. You are ruining my life. You are taking a toll on me and our relationship. Please. Just go away somewhere. I will never love you. Ever. Don't try anymore and ruin things for me. Give up."
She had stood up by the end of the last sentence. I kept sitting. She looked at me. I was reminded of a warrior, the way she held herself. A warrior princess. Our eyes locked. And then I saw her. I saw her fear. Her vulnerability. At the core, she still was a small girl who craved for security. Of stability. And I knew that I was finished. I knew that she deserved more than me. She deserved Pranav. He was a good guy. He will take care of her. Heck! I had made his life hell, nearly ruined ruined his career, beaten him to a pulp over this girl and he still stood there beside her. He deserved her. She turned away abruptly and left. And I kept sitting there.
That weekend. I took my pre-placement offer. Dropped all my work. Told my parents where I was moving and went away. I went as far as I could from her. Oh yeah, I was a bad-ass at work too. I just didn't overstep the boundary. I walked right on the edge. One month later, during my birthday I sat alone in my cold single room flat. Lonely. And my BB beeped. An email.
I looked at it again. Read it. Re-read it. "Thank You. Happy Birthday"
I read the name below. Again and again. And thats when my damn burst. I cried. I cried like a baby. I cried the whole night. The pain was almost physical as I curled up on my bed.
Its been five years now. I received the marriage invitation to my cousin. Pranav and her name is interlinked. I am packing my bags. I am going to London. I have been promoted. I am not going to their marriage. Her marriage. But I am really happy that they made it. They lasted.
I am still a wild guy. I just wish that someone sees below this facade of mine and sees the guy who loves reading "Wuthering Heights". I wish someone sees that I Care!
This piece of writing is purely fictional. Any resemblance to any person, place, event, vehicle, is purely co-incidental.
One year later, I was in the same college fest. And there she was again. Playing. Only this time she had improved her skills. She was better. She was fast AND ferocious. Once again, I stood in the corner watching her. And admired. She had long hair now. She looked prettier. The match was nearing its end and it was going to be a close call. She scored the winning basket. I couldn't help but smile as she jumped around the court hugging her teammates. So different from the focused and ruthless player on court. I went back to my team. We had a match to play and I went back to strategies.
Three months later my father shifted to a new city. I went with him. I was a the typical bad-ass and had burnt my fingers badly in the last couple of months in my old city. Dad wanted me to come with him. So I did. I got admitted to the same college as my first cousin. I was putting up with him. He was the perfect guy. Grades. Looks. Manners. Talent. You name it and he had it. But he was a do-gooder. He was boring. I guess, my parents thought some of him would rub off on me.
It was the first party he took me to. And there she was. The same tigress. She was with some friends. I recognized a couple of them from the fest. And the next thing I hear is my cousin introducing me to her as 'his' girlfriend. I was flabbergasted to say the least. I had my mouth nearly open. I took me all my control power to keep my poker face mask. The whole night they sat together. He was the perfect candy boyfriend. Chivalrous. Doting. And she.. Well, she was like fire and ice together, when she was talking about Basketball, she was literally burning. She was so fired up. And the next moment she was talking about the a sexual molestation case in our college and she was ice cold. Calm. Composed. She new what steps she was taking. She knew the consequences. But she didn't give a damn. In her dictionary what was right was right. She was calculating. Cold. She was set on her path.
Yes, I am raving. I had fallen for her. That day in the party. I was in love. Madly. The whole time I kept thinking, she is for me. She has been custom made for me. What was she doing with that loser. From the next day, I went after her. I got into trouble. More trouble. I fought with my cousin who was actually trying to help me. I made passes at her. I tried to get her to cheat on my cousin. I tried to get her drunk. I did everything in my power to get her. She was mine. How could someone else have her??? I was raving mad by the end of the semester. No, I was not constantly running after her. Infact I did a lot of other stuff. I enhanced my reputation as the cold hearted bastard of a guy. I dated hoards of girls. Sometimes I used them. Sometimes I just tried to get the tough to please ones. But eventually I just stripped all of them of their self-dignity and left them mid-way. Somewhere. Oh yeah I was a first rate jackass. I picked up fights. Took on challenges. No, not all of them were bad. Someone challenged me to top the sem-end exams. I did. Someone bet me 1000 bucks that I can't learn to play guitar. I went and won a jamming session in the local pub. Oh yeah. Bring it on. I partied. I got drunk. I got beaten up. I was a mess. Two years went by.
And yet through all this, I kept my eye on her. I was the hottest property in town. Girls were queuing up for me. I was not interested. Just the way she was not interested in me. I kept provoking her. Taunting her. I kept being a dick. and each time. She cut me to size. She slashed me. Words, she used them as weapons. And yet I loved it. I liked the attention. Everytime she would ignore me, I raised my level. I provoked her more. Taunted her more. And then one day I crossed the limit. I humiliated her. Infront of everyone in college. I kissed her.
I plead innocent. She was standing some five feet away in a kurti. A black one. Her hair was tied in a pony. Some strands were being badass and falling on her face. I kept staring at her. The rest of the world had vanished. And then she turned towards me. Her were moist. She was upset about something. And all I could see at that moment was that one drop of tear. She looked so vulnerable. Something snapped inside me and in two strides I was beside her, kissing her. Roughly. Passionately. That one kiss said everything that I had felt for her over the two years. The whole corridor stopped and gaped at us. I didn't give a f***. But she did. Three magical moments, she pulled back and the slap echoed in the silence. My face stung. I didn't apologize. I turned around and walked away.
That night my cousin and I had a fight. I beat him up mercilessly. And then dropped him at the hospital. I was driving at 140 km/s on my way back. I could have easily killed someone that day. I took off to my old town. I drove the whole night. I took a break of a week. And then I came back. I kept my mask. I still pretended to be a bad-ass. But I was tired. Of the charade. Of not feeling human. Of not caring. And that's when the feeling sunk in. She didn't want me. She didn't like me. The pain of rejection. I was bleeding daily. But I kept my mask. I was so lonely. But I kept my mask.
That day had been a particularly tiring one. Our placements had started an I was being the typical me. My cousin was the head of the placement cell and I was a member. How? I was a bad-ass. But I was competent. And I was a charmer. I had my way. So, as usual I was bored and had created trouble for him. We had had a row. I was sitting in the library. In a corner. Alone. Out of sight. Library and my image don't exactly go together! And she came. She came and stood infront of me. She looked pale, disturbed. Worried. My heart was in my mouth but my face had the mask. I don't care, said the mask. She asked me, " Can I sit? " I nodded and made a caustic remark. Typical me. She ignored the remark. She looked at the book in my hand, " Wuthering Heights" ? I shrugged. You don't know me. She stared at me. I was getting fidgety. I wanted this thing over. "I want a favour." she said. "And what makes you believe that I would grant a favour to you? " I had the smirk on my face. Voice dripping with condescension . Mean look on my face. Perfect me!
"Because. you love me."
She said that with simplicity and honesty as if she was reciting an universal truth. And it blew the wind out of my stomach. That one sentence. Because it was true.
I nodded my head. I didn't trust myself to speak.
"I love Pranav. Please leave me alone. Please. I am very serious about him. You are ruining my life. You are taking a toll on me and our relationship. Please. Just go away somewhere. I will never love you. Ever. Don't try anymore and ruin things for me. Give up."
She had stood up by the end of the last sentence. I kept sitting. She looked at me. I was reminded of a warrior, the way she held herself. A warrior princess. Our eyes locked. And then I saw her. I saw her fear. Her vulnerability. At the core, she still was a small girl who craved for security. Of stability. And I knew that I was finished. I knew that she deserved more than me. She deserved Pranav. He was a good guy. He will take care of her. Heck! I had made his life hell, nearly ruined ruined his career, beaten him to a pulp over this girl and he still stood there beside her. He deserved her. She turned away abruptly and left. And I kept sitting there.
That weekend. I took my pre-placement offer. Dropped all my work. Told my parents where I was moving and went away. I went as far as I could from her. Oh yeah, I was a bad-ass at work too. I just didn't overstep the boundary. I walked right on the edge. One month later, during my birthday I sat alone in my cold single room flat. Lonely. And my BB beeped. An email.
I looked at it again. Read it. Re-read it. "Thank You. Happy Birthday"
I read the name below. Again and again. And thats when my damn burst. I cried. I cried like a baby. I cried the whole night. The pain was almost physical as I curled up on my bed.
Its been five years now. I received the marriage invitation to my cousin. Pranav and her name is interlinked. I am packing my bags. I am going to London. I have been promoted. I am not going to their marriage. Her marriage. But I am really happy that they made it. They lasted.
I am still a wild guy. I just wish that someone sees below this facade of mine and sees the guy who loves reading "Wuthering Heights". I wish someone sees that I Care!
This piece of writing is purely fictional. Any resemblance to any person, place, event, vehicle, is purely co-incidental.
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